Goodbye, 2017

So this year I went through a lot. It has been detailed elsewhere. Additionally got kicked and told to focus on the positive by a so-called friend, who then unfriended me because I refused to accede to her wishes. Some friend. 

She didn't understand that, with all this loss, there is naturally grief. And grief must be honored and felt. You can suppress it, but then your life eventually falls apart, with whatever consequences to you and your loved ones, and you are left in a worse situation picking up the pieces. I found a TBI group on Facebook I have been talking to, and one of them said that when they left the hospital after their head trauma, their treatment team required them to go to a grief group. Because your life is totally different on the other side.

My life, like I expressed in my latest work (which I am kind of amazed how much people like it) has constricted to one path. Just one. I have discussed the subject of death many times. I don't think I am going to physically die anytime soon. I am not suicidal, and I believe I will live for many years to come. But I found this past year that you can die in many different ways that don't involve a grave. That door in the picture is a mausoleum door, and I used that very deliberately. Also the crow represents death. That picture is about death.

But what death? I think death of old hopes, dreams, what-might-have-been's, the loss of potential and talent and intellect. The loss of music. I am walking down the path to that door, which has no light coming out of it. I don't know what's on the other side of that door. No one but God does. Doors in metaphysics are important and you walk through them with grave caution. Be careful what doors you walk through, what thresholds you cross. However, this appears to be a door God would have me walk through, so I will.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

On the other side of that dark and scary door, on the other side of death, is God's will for my life. Behind me is my will for my life. Forward is God's will.

I open the door that leads to the will of my Heavenly Father, the Lord of hosts, cross the threshold, and close it behind me. 

Now we see what is in store. So fitting I did this on the last day of the old year. Happy New Year, everyone.

_{Skin Art: Zaellrin}